Sure, you have heard it said time, and again…It’s the little things that’ll kill you. Funny thing is…it’s true! In relationship building, it’s in the attention to details. Guys, ever make the fatal mistake of not noticing the fact that your honey got a hair cut? Sure death!
Obligatory is Just That for Relationship Success
Doing something special for your special someone on only the obligatory days is simply the “table stakes,” the minimum just to get into the game. What are the obligatory days? You know; Valentine’s Day, Birthday, Christmas, etc. Gifts on those obligatory days do little more than give your special someone “bragging rights.” “Look what he/she got for me!” Only doing something on the obligatory days is the domain of Relationship Losers. And trust me, that is not where you want to be.
The Unexpected Times for Relationship Success
This is where you earn real relationship points. To be a Relationship Winner, you had better work on making relationship points, at the minimum of twice a week–daily is much better. To earn a relationship point, you do not have to spend money, better yet, spend your time. That’s how the real points are earned. For guys, your unexpected kindness could be as simple as making the bed, getting up first and making the coffee, washing the dishes…actually anything considered “domestic” is a great place to start–especially considering that could very well be where you fall down, relationship points wise, the most. Also, for your special someone; write a poem or leave a love note–big relationship points there. In this area, there are no rules, just great ideas. For the gals, this is your specialty so I do not need to go into details. However, remember that it is what he wants, not what you want. This is not the place to ascribe to the Golden Rule as that would be doing what you want.
Small Gestures Daily for Relationship Success
If you can, daily endeavor to offer a small and unexpected gesture of love, respect, and appreciation for your special someone. These little things will go a long way in building a strong relationship foundation, and will surely eliminate most of the complaining your partner might put forth. Each gesture is another Relationship Bank Deposit that collectively, over time, will add up to a huge relationship nest egg. And trust me, stuff surely happens–no matter who you are. One day, you’ll be amazingly grateful for all the little things that you did for your sweetie. Small things add up. Small things matter.
Ed is the Founder and CEO of the 501(c)(3) non-profit public charity, Cigar PEG Philanthropy through Fun, and president at Rigsbee Research which conducts qualitative member ROI research and consulting for associations and societies. He has been called “the dynamite that broke up our log jam” by association executives—rarely politically correct and almost always provocative—and from a dozen years as a United States Soccer Federation referee, Ed calls it the way he sees it. Exceptional resources at www.rigsbee.com.
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