Don’t Listen to the Negative if You Want Your Relationships to Thrive (417 words)

In a relationship, unfortunately, the negative force generally is victorious over the positive. This “truth” is almost always the case. If one wants the relationship to fail and one wants it to succeed, you can be assured that the relationship will fail. How does it affect you?

Ignore the Negative

I’m not suggesting that you become an ostrich and put your head in the sand but rather suggesting that you limit negativity around you; especially people that are negative on relationships. There is not much value in a sitting around with relationship losers and commiserating about how their partners were schmucks. If you allow this unfiltered negative information to enter your subconscious, you are truly sabotaging your relationship(s). If you unknowingly slip into the negative syndrome, you will surely kill your relationship. Yes, I know it is work to overcome the negative…but how much is your relationship worth to you?

Dealing with a Negative World

Think about it, the modern day media thrives on negative stories and sensationalism. Are you letting their messages reach your subconscious mind in an unfiltered manner? Do you leave the television or radio on for background noise? If so, you are allowing all the negativity to reach your mind–unfiltered–for the good of your relationship–stop it! Rather than become a relationship loser yourself, facilitate nurturing, love, and respect in all that you do. And, start by spending less time with your relationship loser friends.

One of the greatest books that made a difference in my life is, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. He talked quite a bit about what you feed your mind. He suggested having your goals written and reading them every night before retiring and every morning when rising. He also suggested mental visualization exercises.

Feed Your Mind

Try this; at night before you retire spend a minute or two with your “virtual” mastermind–persons in your head, living or dead, of whom you respect their opinion. Ask for relationship guidance of these “virtual” luminaries and let your own subconscious seek answers. This is surely better than using relationship losers for guidance.

Here’s the rub for women; if you buy what John Grey says in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (and I do) then you will always be fighting the tendency to solve your relationship problems by committee–asking several of your friends for their advice–and this is an affront to trusting yourself.

Want wonderful relationships? Be careful to whom you listen…


Ed Rigsbee is the consummate evangelist for member recruitment and strategic alliance success. He holds the Certified Association Executive (CAE) and Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) accreditation. Ed is the author of The ROI of Membership-Today’s Missing Link for Explosive Growth, PartnerShift, Developing Strategic Alliances, and The Art of Partnering. To his credit, he has over 2,500 articles in print and countless articles electronically published.

Ed is the Founder and CEO of the 501(c)(3) non-profit public charity, Cigar PEG Philanthropy through Fun, and president at Rigsbee Research which conducts qualitative member ROI research and consulting for associations and societies. He has been called “the dynamite that broke up our log jam” by association executives—rarely politically correct and almost always provocative—and from a dozen years as a United States Soccer Federation referee, Ed calls it the way he sees it. Exceptional resources at